Deewaar
Scene #14 - Main kaise bura maan sakta hoon
Veera:
Hmm, aapka naam?
Ravi Verma:
Naam? Ravi.
Veera:
Ravi kya?
Ravi Verma:
Uhh, jee, Ravi Verma.
Veera:
Hmm. Education?
Ravi Verma:
Jee, uhh, samajhiye B.A. pass hoon.
Veera:
Yeh samajhiye B.A. pass ka matlab kya hota hai?
Ravi Verma:
Uhh, jee, mera matlab hai ki B.A. pass hoon.
Veera:
Hmm, aapki height?
Ravi Verma:
Hmm, hmm, paanch foot nau das gyaarah inch.
Veera:
Yeh nau das gyaarah inch kya hota hai?
Ravi Verma:
Paach foot das inch.
Veera:
Bus, yehi to kharaabi hai tum mein. Nervous hot jaate ho. Jab yahan yeh haal hai, to sachmuch ke interview mein kya hota hoga? Tumne ek sawaal ka jawaab bhi confidence se nahi diya. Yeh tum hadbada kyon jaate ho?
Ravi Verma:
You are right, Veera. Main nervous ho jaata hoon. Ghabraahat mein ulte seedhe keh deta hoon aur log samajhte hain mujhe kuchh aata jaata nahi hai. Lekin, never mind. Aaj ke interview ke liye main aisi rehearsal karke jaoonga ki chhutthi kar doonga sabki. Jaate hi saath hi main interview lene waale ki aankhon mein aankhein daalkar dekhoonga aur kahoonga...
Veera:
Kya kahoge?
At a real job interview.
Ravi Verma:
Jee, Mera naam Ravi Verma hai.Interviewer:
Education kahan tak hai aapki?
Ravi Verma:
Jee, main B.A. pass hoon aur meri height paanch foot das inch hai.Interviewer:
Maine aap se aapki height to nahi poochhi.
Ravi Verma:
Oh, sorry sir.Interviewer:
Uh, aapke paas aapki degree aur certificates ho, to naukri dene se pehle, you see...
Ravi Verma:
Uhh, yes sir. Here you are, sir.Interviewer:
Hmm. Good! Very good! Sports! Debate! Education ke saath saath yeh sab cheezein bhi... Hamein is job ke liye aap jaise hi smart ladke ki zaroorat thi.
Ravi Verma:
To sir, kya main ummeed kar sakta hoon ki yeh naukri mujhe...
Phone rings.
Interviewer:
Excuse me. Good morning, sir. Good morning. Jee, main Digvijay bol raha hoon, sir. Jee haan. Jee haan, aapne kaha tha. Jee, main unse mil chuka hoon. Jee, woh aapke chhote baba ke birthday par mujhe bhi bulaaya tha na sir aapne. Main wahin mila tha unse. Jee? Jee haan, ho jayega sir. Bilkul ho jayega, sir. Thank you, sir, thank you.
Puts down phone and wipes sweat off face with handkerchief.
Interviewer:
Heheh, general manager saab ka phone tha. Khud baat kar rahe the.
Ravi Verma:
Sir, woh, woh naukri?Interviewer:
Naukri? Haan, uh, woh, Mr.Ravi, naukri to kisee aur ko de dee gayi.
Ravi Verma:
De dee gayi hai? Lekin sir abhi abhi to aapne...Interviewer:
Haan, haan, maine kaha tha. Lekin abhi abhi to baat huyi, general manager saahab se. Uhh, woh, unki wife ka brother hai na, uhh, you see, deserving bhi hai, uhh, you see...
Ravi Verma:
Yes sir, I can see.Interviewer:
Dekhiye Mr. Ravi, aap bura mat maaniye.
Ravi Verma:
Nahi sir, main kaise bura maan sakta hoon? Huh, buraayi to khud mujhe mein hai. Meri file mein degree hai, certificates hain, sifaarish ka ek bhi khat nahi. Thank you, sir.
Ravi leaves the interview room.
Receptionist:
Next.
Ravi Verma:
Thank you.
Ravi interrupts the next candidate.
Ravi Verma:
Suno, tum bhi yahan interview ke liye aaye ho?Job applicant:
Jee haan.
Ravi Verma:
Is company ka managing director, general manager koi rishtedaar hai tumhaara?Job applicant:
Jee nahi.